Spring again

This spring has reminded me a lot of what I have been going though. One day it is sunny and warm and filled with hope and joy and promise of more warmth. I walk outside for hours and smile all day long. I am motivated and inspired and getting tan.

Within a few hours it is raining and overcast and dreary and lonely. I stay inside and am listless. I feel lazy and bored and stuck.

Then the wind blows and everything is everywhere. I am confused and chaotic. I feel angry and irritated and hopeless and lost.

Within a few days the sun is back, but I am skeptical and anxious. Can I start an outside project? Or are you just going to rain all over it and blow it away tomorrow? WEATHER??


I wrote my last post at the bottom of a huge fall. I know and knew that I will look back on it and wonder how in the world I got so far off the path. But I know sometimes you have to get off of the perfectly planned path in order to actually learn something of value. So, off I went. I let myself go.


But, like spring, I am slowly warming back up. I feel fresh and new and cleansed. I feel wounds that are open and still bleeding but the pain is gone. They don’t sting and they are healing beautifully in their own time.


I look at things differently now. Which is how I know something was accomplished in all of this.

I had to take a few steps back so that I could see the canvas from a different perspective. And when I actually looked at it, I realized how beautiful it already has become. I was just too close to get a good view of it.  If I kept going in the same direction I would have messed it up completely.


I gave myself the time. I stopped criticizing myself for every choice I made. I stopped weighing myself. I started nourishing myself with what I think my body is asking for. I work out when I feel like it and if I don’t, I don’t. I listen to my body. I have been watching videos and reading books from inspiring people with wonderful information that will help me grow.

I believe I am becoming more me.


I struggle with not weighing myself almost every day. I still have cravings to binge. I am learning how to not revert back to the old me.

I learned that I need to listen more in order to be heard.

I have to respect the real me more.

I have to honor what my body needs.

I am always learning and growing.

I have to be open to learn anything that I am confronted with.

I need to be taught in order to teach.

I have got to stop, and breathe. Everyday.


And I have to buy new flip flops every spring.



Just a few things


I have been busy:

Writing down all of the food I eat, working out every day, planning meals and snacks, cleaning, working, getting new clients, researching, reading, laundry, cooking, dogs, kids, husband, life….. Oh and DUH! ….getting ready to go see PINK in Las Vegas! AH!

I am planning to take a lot of food. I refuse to let this trip pull me into “feeling like shit again” land. And so, I bought an insulated bag and I will be stocking that bitch with good shit.

I have learned a lot about the issues I am having with a few foods. Since cutting out everything I had thought might be an issue, I have not had any headaches, the rash I had is going away, and my heart only did its flippy thing one time. And that was after I tried a piece of Chocolate.


That’s what I said.


But, I am happy that I found some of the triggers, and now, all I have to do is stay clear of them if I want to feel good.

….but seriously?



Also, I wanted to share a contest that I am doing over on my Facebook page.

Here are the “rules”:

♥ Just share my page with your friends!!!!

♥ Then share the post about the contest!!!!

♥ And finally, write a quick comment telling me that you shared and would like to enter the drawing!


I will enter you in a drawing to win a book of my choice! Probably one that has helped me so much in my journey so far.

♥ I will enter you as many times as you share!!!! So feel free to do it a lot! 😉

♥ I will draw a winner on February 18th!


For the holiday

I am, for the first time in years, excited about the holiday. I feel the warmth from hearts and lights. That fuzzy love feeling you get for a few days that builds for a few before. Reminders of what I felt as a child mixed with the appreciation and understanding of all that this day means to me.


We all go to my mom and dad’s house on Christmas day. My family and my sister’s. We eat and open presents and play games. This year my dad suggested we have tacos. We all loved the idea. We are all bringing something to add to the dinner. I am going to find a healthy bean dish. I am also making a couple of cookie recipes that I have never tried. You can see them here and here. I will take pictures and let you know how they taste and what my family thought.


I know that the fact that I have changed my life with what I put into my body will never be compromised. Even and especially on holidays. Why should it? When I celebrate life and love and my family and peace and joy….. the last thing I want to do is be killing my body with crap. I will be enjoying real whole wonderful food along with the wonderful day of joy.

I hope the same for all of you.


Split Pea Soup

I have been loving me some soups now that the weather is cooling down.

I love the warm filling feeling they give me.

I love how much nutrition you can pack into them.

I love how easy they are to make.

I made this one in the crock pot. It cooks for 4 to 5 hours and fills the house with the most yummy smell.

Just add the following ingredients to the crock pot in the order listed and do not stir them up:

  • 16 oz bag of dried split peas
  • 1 cup cubed lean ham ( I leave these in bigger chunks because I like the flavor but not actual bites of ham in my soup.)
  • 1 medium chopped onion
  • 2 chopped garlic cloves
  • 2 cups chopped carrots
  • 2 bay leaves
  • salt and pepper to taste
  • 5 cups boiling water

After it is done cooking, take out the bay leaves and add your choice of broth until it is the consistency that you like.



A place for me

I have a room in our home that I can call mine. I am free to decorate it with things for only me. When I got married and moved into a house to share, I lost that “My Room” experience. It really made me recognized the gift that my parents gave me when I lived with them. I got a room to myself and was encouraged to express myself in the decor of it. Even though they had to literally close the door at times because of my lack of cleaning skills, and my dad had to repair and paint the walls because I had left a million holes from the tacks that held my posters and magazine pages. My parents never forced me to have anything in my room that I didn’t want. They never told me to take out anything that I wanted to keep. I am so thankful for that and what it inspired inside of me.

Not having that anymore never really bothered me until recently when I started to really discover my need to be me. To personalize a space just for the interest of my desires. A place to put the things that mean something to me, and that I don’t want to share. To express myself freely. I love being able to have things surrounding me that inspire me in beautiful ways while I work, or just relax.
This is something I need and treasure in my life.

It is something that I am truly grateful for.

Tried it: Roasted Chick Peas

I have seen this on Pinterest a lot and it always looks so good. I mean, a crunchy snack that is GOOD FOR YOU? HELLO! So, I tried it the other day.

I did it without the recipe at first. I just did what I thought I remembered the recipe had said. 😉 So, I rinsed and drained the chick peas and dried them and rolled them in some cinnamon and Agave. Then I put them on a lined cookie sheet and baked them at about 350 long enough for them to turn a little brown. I had to leave the house to go on my walk, so I took them out and left. When I got back and tasted one, they were still soft inside. Um, I wanted crunchy! 😦

So, I went online and looked up the recipe again and it said I should have cooked them longer and added the flavoring stuff AFTER. Hey, I got the temperature right!

I put them back in the oven again, thinking I would keep checking on them and see how crunchy I could get them.

Guess who forgot all about them?


…Until I smelled smoke….

Well, they are SERIOUSLY crunchy now. 😉

I picked out the not so burned ones, and they were really good!

I love that you can also do different flavors, like garlic, or sea salt and vinegar….

I am looking forward to next time I make them. The one thing that my family and I miss is something like this to munch on. I have a feeling I will be making a lot of these.

Which is good because someone needs some practice.



A gift

All of this was given to me by friends who just simply had too much. To be thought of when they were wondering who to give these to, means so much to me. Food is one of the greatest gifts. It nourishes my soul to be grateful for it. It nourishes my body. It nourishes my heart because it is grown by people with love and given to me as a gift. It feeds me in many ways.

I was going to try a new recipe with them, but my family ate almost all of them before I was able to.

And they loved every bite.