Happy Birthday

My mom has taught me pretty much everything I know. She raised me to think for myself. Which makes it even more funny when we do things exactly the same. We even look alike. We often show up at the same places in town. When we see each other now we just look at each other like “well duh..where else would you be?” Yesterday while talking to my sister, I said something and she looked at me and said “Okay MOM!” I will go over to her house and her screen saver is the exact same one I have on my computer and I say “Nice screen saver mom!” She knows exactly why I said it.

We are on the same frequency. Which is something I cherish. My mom has a strength that is indescribable. A beauty that is radiating. A life that is her own. I have no problem with anything about me that is like her. I am grateful for all of it.

Thank you mom. For everything.

My moms birthday was last week. I will not tell you how old she is. I think she would get mad. Though, I think she should be proud. She looks nothing like her age.

Happy Birthday mom! I love you!

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I can smell the sun on my skin

I just fell asleep. In the sun. Outside in the sand. I dozed off sitting in my chair. I was reading about love. The sun warmed my skin. My body was heated by light. On one of the last summer days. I radiated love. Connected to the earth. Intertwined with the atmosphere. Just before I left reality I heard and felt a bird. The sound was magnified. Its wings moving the air. Moving through the air. I heard its body as it flew. Then silence. Then I was dreaming. 


If you open your eyes…..

One evening in my backyard. As promised.

My camera robs the magnificence from this moment. But you get the idea.

Nevada sunsets are incomparably crazy wonderful.


In the works

In the title of this blog it says something about art. I just wanted to make sure you all know that I am actually going to post about my art. I have loved art all of my life. I have won awards and been told that I should pursue art as a career. For my own personal reasons, I have yet to do so. I like to think it has something to do with being an artist. But fear of actually showing my work to the world is a hard concept to confront. Though, I know part of it being art is that it is shared, interpreted by others, with different perceptions. It needs to be seen.

I also plan to sell my art. So, yet another step. Knowing that my work is hanging in someones home, office, whatever. What it will mean to the people who want it. What people will say when they see it. How it will make them feel.

I am at the stage in my life where I think I can handle it. I am comfortable with the part of my heart that I leave on the paper or canvas.  Letting go. What I feel about anything is only important to me and the most important reason to do what I love. Because it is my passion. It is what I am. What I do. What is inside me and needs to come out. I get a satisfaction from drawing and painting that nothing else can give me. One of the most wonderful blessings in the world would be to be able to do what I love, what I know I am supposed to do, and do it as work.

For now, I am going to share with you a drawing I have started. It is obviously not done and I don’t know yet if I will leave it just a drawing or if I will add it to something else, or paint it, or paint something around it. I only know what it will be when it happens. (Omg, another artist thing to say huh?) Enjoy this first part……for whatever it means to you, however it makes you feel, whatever it inspires in you, says to you……


Love

I am here

with me, I am here

my mind is not in control

love is rest

love is everywhere

love is

be

my being is reality

feel

know

understand love

see love

release

feel joy, peace, love

free me

spontaneous

engulf the love

focus on what is

accept what is

love what is

be what is

love


My home is in the desert

One of the good things about living out here in the desert are the abundance of cool little guys like this. I love lizards! I just wish they would let me pet them.

Nathan catches them all the time. I always make him set them free, after I pet them, of course, because I can’t stand seeing them trapped in a cage. plus they help us out by eating all the bad bugs. There are a few that live in my garden

I love that I can walk out into my yard at pretty much any time and within minutes I can watch one of the few different kinds of lizards warm itself on a rock or a chipmunk haul ass to the water dish and get a drink. The Quail, always with their mate and sometimes herding their little babies, like puff balls. I watch them out of my kitchen window as I do dishes. They run and jump and play outside, unaware that I am watching.

Last summer, while watering trees, we spotted something moving in the water around one of the trees. We looked closer to find that a frog had just come up from underground! There is a type of toad that lives in the dirt and when the water comes (usually a flood in the desert, but in this case we made a flood ourselves) they come up into the water. Frogs are a lot easier to catch and hold. So, we played with him for a while and put it back in the tree water and I guess he went back under, but we haven’t seen him this year.

The sunsets here are also unbelievable. I will take some pictures soon and post them. I enjoy the sunsets almost every night but I guess I take them for granted and forget to take pictures. But I promise to do so soon.

My home is in the desert.


Perception

The bathtub in my bathroom had a leak in it and it ruined the floor. We gutted it and all of the floor (which was freakin CARPET UUGH. So glad that’s gone) and bought a new tub, wall surround and flooring about….. omg its been a year? Yeeeah I think its been more than a year actually. WTF? Seriously I am not a procrastinator. Ask anyone who knows me. I get shit done. So weird, and different for me to let something like this wait so long. I don’t want to give excuses like “We have had a lot going on.” Or “There is just not enough time.” Because although I could argue them to be true, the truth is I have just not been motivated to do it. We have another shower. And we have gotten into the habit of walking across the house to the other bathroom to take showers. We still can use the toilet and sinks, so I guess its one of those things where its not bad enough to hurry anything along. The other day though, I was thinking about how nice it would be to have our own shower again. I seriously forgot. This was a good lesson for me to think about what is most important in life, to different people. What I really need, what makes me happy, is really just all in my head. Its all about the way I see it. Its all about perception. This is important with so many things in life. What I feel is necessity is completely different than what someone else feels.

I read this quote yesterday by John Petit-Senn: “Not what we have but what we enjoy constitutes our abundance.”

I think this can be heard in a few different ways. One of the ways I hear it is that our happiness is where our focus of love is. Some people would look at my “bathroom situation” and feel bad about it or stressed out by it not being done. Where as I totally do not see it like that. If anything I am excited at the opportunity to build something new. Maybe that’s why I am waiting, so that I can enjoy the anticipation more. Subconsciously. Hmmm…interesting.

Anyway, I am posting pictures of the shower area. I am finally motivated to do this thing. I am going to share the before and afters with you. I dunno about you, but I love me some before and after pics. Of anything.

So far I have done the stuff on the floor to make it level because it was warped after the water damage. (Get used to my terms for materials and tools used. I know what it does and how to use it but I don’t wanna waste time with freakin correct names and junk.) (And also, a warning to perfectionists out there, things will not be done at a professional level. So don’t get all up in my shit. My dad is a professional at this stuff and I already hear him in my head while I am working. And I will never be as good as him and I am okay with that cuz he rocks this shit.)

After I took these pictures I painted a primer all over this whole area. So, now its white. And clean.

I am enjoying the process and will enjoy my shower when its back. And for now, its all good.